Well hello there... I hope you're all feeling refreshed after that extra hour in bed? I can't really say that I am, but that's got more to do with the three-day-decorating-marathon I just completed with my dad than a sleep shortage. Yep, that's right - I have another room under my belt. Here's a photo of it one coat in - and keep an eye on Twitter for the finished article once I've got it straight again... When I haven't been preoccupied with my pad this week I've been working on an application for an internship. Okay, so I might look a bit old for work experience, but this one is designed for us slightly more "experienced" folk who want to try something new. I showed my first draft to my mate Vicky. After politely nodding at my gushing prose on how much I loved the company and why I was suited to it, she suggested that I should instead tell them my story. "Eh?" Even as a writer, the concept baffled me. "It's at a magazine, so they'll want someone who has been on a journey that they can share with their readers." I nodded as I made notes. Now, not only did I need to convince them that I wouldn't be a complete waste of space, I wanted to make myself sound worthy of such an opportunity. So I went for it. And, whilst I don't know whether spending the last 13 years trying to make other people's lives better will impress them or not, I hope that admitting that it is only in my 30's that I feel able to pursue the dreams I've had since I was a teenager will resonate with someone on the shortlisting panel. And, if it doesn't, I won't give up. If I do, I know I'll live to regret it - not because I might miss my chance, but because I don't want to live my life thinking "what if?" Besides, as the little plaque my mum once bought me says; "Reach for the moon. If you don't make it, you'll still be among the stars." Okay, so as a statement it might be factually incorrect, but as a proverb it is one that I'm living by. I recommend you give it a go too.
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Evening all! Hope you have all had a lovely weekend, relaxing indoors perhaps, safe in the knowledge that you go about your business without prying eyes paying attention to your every move? Yes? Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to spoil it for you. Don't get me wrong, I've had a lovely weekend visiting friends out on the commuter belt and, prior to that, enjoyed a night out with the girlies in London. But what I have learnt during these jollies has left me disturbed. You see, what I have learnt is about cyber-stalking - and how scarily easy it is. Take scenario number one. Girl goes to an open mic night. Girl sees boy and decides she quite likes him, but can't quite muster the courage to begin a conversation. However, her interest surpasses her shyness and she "friends" him on facebook, looks up where his next gig is - and drags me along (after I've looked him up online myself, of course!). Girl again couldn't bring herself to talk to the said young man, but has sent him an innocent query via the medium of social media about his work And then there's scenario number two. Girl visits wildlife hospital with mates. Girl comments of attractiveness of male giving a talk about, let's say, hedgehogs. Later that evening, after a couple of glasses of wine, girl and mates, armed with his first name, place of work and home town (more fool him for disclosing this during talk about his prickly friends) are able to locate him on Twitter, facebook and You Tube. Girl promptly follows boy, but will be unfollowing him before posting this blog (for obvious reasons). Besides, his girlfriend looks really nice, and is only 20... Finally scenario number three - girl and mates then start googling each other and their other mates. Girl is relieved to find nothing too incriminating about herself (well, under her real name anyway) - apart from an email sent for her day job that has been released under the Freedom of Information Act - eeek! Luckily it was very short and did not include any bad jokes, but STILL! Another mate came up a little worse for wear, with names of siblings, ex wives and financial situation being easily accessible. Yikes... So... the moral of the story? Look yourself up - and get yourself removed from any sites you don't want to be named on. Oh, and if you want to find out the relationship status of "Dave" who works at your local, message my mate Jules - damn that girl is good! Oh, and if all that stalking makes you hungry, go eat pizza. I recommend my mate Phil's creations but, if you don't fancy a trip to Bucks and live in London,, check out Operation:Pizza - new blog posted on Friday. Of course if you do fancy Phil's Parma Ham Special, just look him up online - I'm sure you can find him... So. I usually get this blog out every Sunday. But for some reason I've been really tired the last couple of days and just didn't really have the energy to write it. I have no idea why. I mean, I've had a five day weekend to get it done. Okay, so I've been out and about a bit, meeting friends for food and drink, going to the Stow Music Festival... ... and checking out other artists at work at Making:Uncovered, but the rest of the time I've been chilling. Well, apart from replacing the light fitting in my lounge, sorting out my electricity account, setting up my life insurance, and registering with a GP that is. But other than that I've just been pottering at home, mainly sat on my backside writing my Operation:Pizza blog, my Overground Underground blog and doing a bit of editing. Hey, I even sat on my butt when I did a bit more work on my latest picture and cracked on with some up-cycling - hell, I was even on my arse for half of yoga! In fact, the only thing I didn't do resting on my behind was paint the hallway. Yeah, I've no idea why I don't feel fully rested... Night all! It's Saturday night! WOO HOO! So, what are your plans? A romantic meal out with the love of your life? A pint down the pub? Or a night on the town, dancing until the wee hours? Well, it all sounds very appealing, but tonight, my friends, I am staying in, on my own, with nowt but a bowl of olives and a glass of wine for company. Why? Because such a night is well overdue... Last weekend I came down with tonsillitis - AGAIN. I was at my mate Darrens' catching up with my old chumlies when I woke up feeling decidedly ropey. My mates blamed the Red Stag I had been drinking the night before (I strongly recommend the Black Cherry variety) and I put it down to being a bit run down. By the end of the day I was dropping penicillin and huddled under a duvet next to the barbecue. NOT fun. Of course I tried to push through it, but Alison made me go to bed for a few hours. Very sensible. Lisa then pointed out that maybe my immunity would be a bit better if I actually took it easy once in a while. I have no idea what she means. Okay, so I'd been out late on the Thursday, attended an evening meeting on the Wednesday and enjoyed a bevvy or two on the Tuesday, but that's normal. Right? Maybe she has a point - maybe I have been burning the candle at both ends. But then, maybe it is a symptom of my recent rise in the responsibility stakes. Okay, so I've had a job that requires a level of maturity since I graduated, but this home ownership thing has thrown me. All of a sudden, I am responsible for the upkeep of the roof over my head, owe Virgin Money more cash than a bear to imagine and not only need to get Critical Illness cover but a Will to boot! Well, I'm sorry, but whilst I have to accept that this means I have reached a new milestone in my life, I refuse to "settle down". In fact, I think I am rebelling against the notion. That said, my nesting tendencies have also kicked in. I spent the last week decorating my lounge with my dad - and it is looking fantastic. Of course, this means that I have an overwhelming desire to paint all the other rooms, go out and buy more furniture and get all my pictures up... whilst still wanting to go out and party. Along with my creative pursuits, I guess it's no wonder I'm falling apart at the seams. Yes, I need to slow down - so tonight I am going to stick on a DVD and do my best to keep my diary as free as possible for the next couple of weeks. Okay, so I have plans on Monday (pizza!) and Tuesday (plumber!) but after that nothing for over two weeks other than an appointment to give blood and a date at a spa. And I plan to keep it that way. Sadly, to quote Oscar Wilde, "I can resist everything except temptation" - and there are tasty morsels of fun all over the shop. Wish me luck... Well - you don't have to but I seem to be doing rather well at getting out of the big smoke these days. In fact, if I count next weeks Bank Holiday (house party in Stafford coming up!) I will have been away four out of five weekends! No wonder I'm struggling to get anywhere fast with the decorating... Although I love the hustle and bustle of my life in London, it is nice to get away from it all. Three weekends ago I came up north for a friend's hen do - and saw her get married this Saturday. What made it all the more special was the rural setting of the reception - said friend lives in the middle of the Nottinghamshire countryside where you can see nothing more than fields as far as the eye can see, and the nearest convenience store is a good 15 minute drive away - and even that closes at 10. As a city girl of thirteen years, I forget what it's like to live out in the sticks. When I was camping near Stratford Upon Avon recently I was delighted to learn that there was a bus service into town so the dedicated driver in our party could enjoy a drink. Needless to say my plan was foiled by the last bus, running at a mere 6.10pm. Oh well... I guess both ways of life have their pros and cons. Whilst London offers me everything I could possibly want when I want it, getting away from the 24 hour society helps me to slow down and recuperate - something that I really have to work at back in the city. So, whilst I will be relieved to see my local Co-Op open when I get back to Walthamstow tonight, I know that I will have to make myself breathe more deeply and let the chaos wash over me once in a while. And on that note, I shall say adieu - I have some serious chilling to do... Evening all! I hope you are all feeling nicely refreshed after the weekend? I have to admit that, after three nights of camping, I'm quite tired - but then there's nothing quite like sitting around a smoldering BBQ at 11 o'clock at night, playing cards and supping Jameson's whiskey (a new and rather dangerous discovery for old Shell) to re-charge the batteries. Okay, so as camping goes we were pretty well looked after (electricity supply, showers AND clean toilets? Wow!) but cooking outdoors, sleeping with nothing more than a sheet of waterproof fabric between you and the elements and being without all those creature comforts we don't need but depend on is certainly good for the soul. Even if not the back... It isn't just going camping that has helped me detox my mind - if not my body (one thing at a time people!). I've been reading a book by Gabbi Bernstein, Yoga and Meditation buff whose 108 Miracles Now breaks down developing your spiritual side - and maintaining your well-being - into easy to follow steps. Whilst some of it isn't for me, it is full of handy hints to improve your relationship with the world and look at life with a more positive slant, something I admit I sometimes find tricky. On Thursday, I found myself seeing positives in what could have been a rather crushing situation. After several rejection letters confused by some very positive feedback from publishers and competition judges, I decided to ask a professional to look at my first novel, Faith, Hope and Chocolate. Deep down I knew it wasn't my best writing by any means but had grown attached to my characters - and still loved the concept. Claire's feedback confirmed this - and her comments helped me see where it wasn't working and think about how I could develop the story line. We concluded that the best course of action would be to start again - and, this time, write with a bit more of a purpose and a plan, something I admit not really doing the first time round. So, watch this space people - just don't hold your breath, as I have novel number two to edit first, plus a couple of other ideas floating about... Now, with all that in mind, I'm going to run myself a nice bath, read some more "Miracles" and write in my journal - the detox isn't complete yet!
Good evening... or should I say good night? It's coming up to 11 pm on Sunday and I guess we should really be heading off to bed in preparation for another week at work. But, after an extended siesta this afternoon (oops!) I'm not feeling that sleepy. Ah well... I don't often sleep in the day, but after a rather hectic week topped off with a Hen Do yesterday, today it was more than needed. Besides, I've just started to read a book on mindfulness and positivity which encourages sleeping well to keep the mind clear. I admit I am on a bit of a mission to "develop" my spiritual side and I see these factors as key to a happy existence. I agree, it isn't always easy, but I'm working on it... Take this week for example. On Wednesday I went to a talk at London Zoo, "The Jungles of the Mind," after learning that feminist, psychotherapist and mild obsession of mine Susie Orbach was the guest speaker. I thoroughly enjoyed the talk - and getting up close and personal to some amazing animals - but admit leaving feeling a bit flat. You see, at the end of the talk, I approached Susie and asked her to sign her my copy of "Fat Is a Feminist Issue". As she did so I told her how much I admired her work and how it inspired me. She nodded politely and asked me about myself. But, as I spoke, I couldn't help but notice her eyes glaze over as I described my day job. Walking home, I felt disappointed in myself for failing to leave nothing more that a lackluster impression on someone I so admire. When I told my good friend Laura about the encounter, she pointed out that Susie probably met a million people like me every year, but, in my mind, it was just confirmation of what I most fear - that my existence on this planet means nothing. Since then, however, I have talked to, met and thought of friends who have inspired me to look at the bigger picture. Two of these women, one of whom a have worked closely with for over two years and another who I have just met, told me that they had grown up with a parent who was addicted to alcohol. I was gobsmacked - both these beautiful, savvy women have amazing careers that I am somewhat enviable of, one of whom has developed hers as a single mum. As they spoke they reminded me of other friends who, despite family illness, bereavement and the day to day knocks of work and relationships, never fail to amaze me, raising money for the charity that supports their sick father rather than wallowing in the pain of his disease, heading home to support their dad when their mum is in hospital and going the extra mile to ensure their sister is getting the spiritual support they need when they lose their mother. Not only do these people inspire me, but they remind me that, even though my one bed flat is not quite as impressive as the converted barn of the aforementioned hen, and that I have yet to make an impression on the literary or art world, I am pretty darn blessed. Something I need to remember next time I get my knickers in a twist over my fluctuating weight and unpublished novel. So, if our paths cross in the near future and I begin to bemoan my fate, please do us both a favour and remind me of this blog. My positivity is a work in progress, and I might need a bit of help to get there. Bear with me... Three minutes to go... I'm watching the World Cup Final, or rather have had it on whilst I natter to Lisa on the phone, finish painting my nails and do my ironing - all things I should have probably done a bit earlier on during my week off. Sadly a bad dose of tonsillitis left me with only a couple of days to get done every thing I had planned. I admit that feeling like I had a load of nails stuck down my throat, a bag of hot coals of my head and lead weights danging from my limbs for the first three days of my week off left me in a bit of a funk. But one thing that kept me going was thinking positively. One of my mates challenged me to post three positives a day on Facebook and, whilst it was a bit tricky when I felt unable to do much more than crawl from bed to bathroom and back again, I managed it. And, although as weeks off work go it could have been a lot better, I'm pretty pleased with what I have achieved, all things considered. Firstly, I finally finished my Peru collage. For ages I've been trying to figure out what to do with the background - the newspaper print on its own didn't really do it for me yet I couldn't get the addition of sky blue watercolour quite right. I tried to wash off what I had done - and quite liked the patchy effect, especially when the excess water was sponged up with a bit of kitchen roll. It's all about technique, you see... Then, I got my shower fixed - and for about £200 less than the first plumber had quoted me. Bearing in mind that this cowboy was also going to replace completely the wrong thing and would have left me £350 poorer and STILL without hot water, I'm pretty chuffed. But the thing that I'm really excited about is that I've finished the penultimate chapter of my second novel - which means I'm nearly done. In fact, I could have quite happily polished it off today, but was determined to get at least part of my kitchen painted (it was supposed to be a week of decorating, after all!) - which I did. And, despite the odd hiccup (let's just say the walls were NOT in a good state), I'm pleased with my progress and reckon I'll get it all done over the next two weekends. Then I only have four more rooms to go... So yeah, all in all, things are going pretty well - and this time next week I may well have finished the said novel, set a date to meet an editor about the first one (watch this space!) and have my kitchen done and dusted! Along with a handful of social engagements in the diary, next week is looking to be even more positive than this one. Just a shame I have to go back to work... Afternoon all! Yep, it's another Monday, and I'm out of the office once more. But, before you get too jealous, rather than cracking on with the decorating, I've spent most of the day down the doctors - or flat out on my bed. That's right - I woke up today with a lovely dose of tonsillitis. Great. BUT - I'm not going to let it get me down. Yes, so it looks like my planned trip to a knitting group in the pub is off the agenda, but I'll survive. And one of the reasons I'll survive is because of my mates, who, even though I'm not a complete invalid and can get to the local Co-Op for my tomato soup, I know they are there for me. Take work, for example. It's no secret that I've found the day job a bit frustrating of late. But, last weekend, after a wander around Wood Street market, I chatted with my chums about my work woes - and, whilst making all the right sympathetic noises, they helped me look at the situation objectively and drill down to what was really bugging me. Then, after a particularly bad week, on Saturday I went out with friends who helped me forget all about it, made me laugh by behind off and danced with me until the wee hours - my kind of therapy. It isn't just work that they've been helping my get my head around. As you regular readers will know, I've just bought a flat - and admit being a bit overwhelmed by the experience. Not only have my mates reminded me that I don't need to have the entire place done-up within the first few weeks, they've also offered practical advice on how I can overcome some of my conundrums - and even got stuck in with the DIY. But most importantly, they are there for me when the going gets tough, reminding me that, even though I occasionally begin to lose hope, I've come a long way - and, with their help, can overcome any obstacle. So yeah, today I want to say thank you to all my mates - and hope that they know that I am there for them too. Cos I love you guys and wouldn't be without you. It's Monday! Hurrah! Yep, you guessed it, I haven't been at work today, which means I've been at liberty to do whatever I darn well fancy. The problem is, I do have an awful lot of things I should be getting on with but, quite frankly, I can't be bothered. In fact, I think the only thing I've managed to get done over the last five days away from the office is to knit my mate Lexi a phone sock which, although it looked pretty cool in the Good Mixer last night, wasn't exactly a major project. On my short term "to do" list I have a variety of bits and bobs that I need to finish off, and, in all honesty, none of them will take me that long, or be that difficult. My Peru collage just needs a lick of paint and a blob of extra glue here and there, the polyfillering of the smattering of holes in my walls won't take more than 15 minutes and, whilst the last occupants left it in a bit of a state, the worst of the kitchen's deep clean is over. However it seems that today I have done everything to avoid tackling any of these tasks. Instead I've updated the playlist on my phone, read my magazine and been for a lovely walk through Walthamstow Marches - anything, but ANYTHING other than what I should really be doing. If I'm honest with myself, I think I know what this is about. This morning I made a start on the penultimate chapter of my second novel, which means that, by the end of July, the first draft will probably be complete. This also means that, after a couple of read-throughs and the odd tweak here and there, it will be ready to share. With other people. People who might not like it. Which is fine, except I've really enjoyed writing it and really hope that, even if like Faith, it goes nowhere, people get it - and find Emily's story as absorbing as I have. So there you have it. I've developed a fear of finishing. Let's just hope it doesn't develop into writer's block and remains a simple barrier to me getting off my butt and cleaning the oven. Only time will tell, and also reveal whether my novel is enjoyed by anyone other than myself. Just remember, if I ask you to ready it, be honest, but if you don't like it, let me down gently... like my protagonist, I don't always like to face up to reality... |
THE JUICEHere you will find my latest news, including what I have been up to and what I have been writing (and making). Hopefully you'll like what I have to say - and perhaps I will motivate you to get creative too... Archives
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