Mind the gap

Oh well if you insist...

Good evening... or should I say good night?  It's coming up to 11 pm on Sunday and I guess we should really be heading off to bed in preparation for another week at work.  But, after an extended siesta this afternoon (oops!) I'm not feeling that sleepy.  Ah well...
I don't often sleep in the day, but after a rather hectic week topped off with a Hen Do yesterday, today it was more than needed.  Besides, I've just started to read a book on mindfulness and positivity which encourages sleeping well to keep the mind clear.  I admit I am on a bit of a mission to "develop" my spiritual side and I see these factors as key to a happy existence.  I agree, it isn't always easy, but I'm working on it...
Take this week for example.  On Wednesday I went to a talk at London Zoo, "The Jungles of the Mind," after learning that feminist, psychotherapist and mild obsession of mine Susie Orbach was the guest speaker.  I thoroughly enjoyed the talk - and getting up close and personal to some amazing animals - but admit leaving feeling a bit flat.  You see, at the end of the talk, I approached Susie and asked her to sign her my copy of "Fat Is a Feminist Issue".  As she did so I told her how much I admired her work and how it inspired me.  She nodded politely and asked me about myself.  But, as I spoke, I couldn't help but notice her eyes glaze over as I described my day job.  Walking home, I felt disappointed in myself for failing to leave nothing more that a lackluster impression on someone I so admire.  When I told my good friend Laura about the encounter, she pointed out that Susie probably met a million people like me every year, but, in my mind, it was just confirmation of what I most fear - that my existence on this planet means nothing.

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Hello tiger!

Since then, however, I have talked to, met and thought of friends who have inspired me to look at the bigger picture.  Two of these women, one of whom a have worked closely with for over two years and another who I have just met, told me that they had grown up with a parent who was addicted to alcohol.  I was gobsmacked - both these beautiful, savvy women have amazing careers that I am somewhat enviable of, one of whom has developed hers as a single mum.  As they spoke they reminded me of other friends who, despite family illness, bereavement and the day to day knocks of work and relationships, never fail to amaze me, raising money for the charity that supports their sick father rather than wallowing in the pain of his disease, heading home to support their dad when their mum is in hospital and going the extra mile to ensure their sister is getting the spiritual support they need when they lose their mother.
Not only do these people inspire me, but they remind me that, even though my one bed flat is not quite as impressive as the converted barn of the aforementioned hen, and that I have yet to make an impression on the literary or art world, I am pretty darn blessed.  Something I need to remember next time I get my knickers in a twist over my fluctuating weight and unpublished novel.
So, if our paths cross in the near future and I begin to bemoan my fate, please do us both a favour and remind me of this blog.  My positivity is a work in progress, and I might need a bit of help to get there.  Bear with me...

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