Happy Mondays!

Okay, so it's easy for me to say that, what with having the week off work and all, but in the spirit of last week's blog, this week I am keeping things simple.

Things have been going pretty well with the whole writing thing at Shelly Berry Towers - my dabble at writing a script for a short film is progressing nicely (watch this space), as is my stab at journalism, what with a couple of juicy pieces for the Waltham Forest Echo working themselves out of the woodwork (again, keep your eyes peeled).  Edit of novel number two is getting closer to completion too, despite my wavering confidence in the project.  The problem is, it is all starting to feel a bit manic, and, having committed to a college course starting in September, it is going to get worse.

Or is it?

Maybe I just need to do what I keep telling myself to do; keep it simple.  Stop putting pressure on myself to get things done that can wait and enjoy those little pleasures in life, like cooking and reading.  I've been trying to read Iris Murdoch's The Sea The Sea for weeks now, but keep finding myself distracted by things I ought to do, rather than settling down with a good book and a nice cup of tea.  And, rather than cooking the food I really want to eat, I end up churning out the same old thing night after night, rather than taking an extra 15 minutes to experiment and try something new - something that a recent meal out and a weekend with friends has made me determined to do.

So, when I get my train home tomorrow, I shall read my book.  And when I go shopping, I will buy ingredients to make Moroccan Lamb and Aubergine with pomegranate and tabouleh salad, just like I had at The Bell in the Stow, and even more aubergine to make Simone's Melanzane parmingiana.  And, before my next batch of leave, I will make a cake to take into work - I have a heap of cream cheese icing in the freezer that desperately needs using up, and quite a few colleagues who I really owe a slice of my grandma's carrot cake for one reason or another.  And, hell, I like baking.  So that is what I am going to do.

Emptying the loft, cleaning the bathroom and redecorating the kitchen can wait.  I am on a new kind of mission, my friend...

So.  I usually get this blog out every Sunday.  But for some reason I've been really tired the last couple of days and just didn't really have the energy to write it.

... and checking out other artists at work at Making:Uncovered, but the rest of the time I've been chilling.  Well, apart from replacing the light fitting in my lounge, sorting out my electricity account, setting up my life insurance, and registering with a GP that is.  

But other than that I've just been pottering at home, mainly sat on my backside writing my Operation:Pizza blog, my Overground Underground blog and doing a bit of editing.  

Hey, I even sat on my butt when I did a bit more work on my latest picture and cracked on with some up-cycling - hell, I was even on my arse for half of yoga!  In fact, the only thing I didn't do resting on my behind was paint the hallway.

Yeah, I've no idea why I don't feel fully rested...

Night all!

Evening all!
I hope you are all feeling nicely refreshed after the weekend?  I have to admit that, after three nights of camping, I'm quite tired - but then there's nothing quite like sitting around a smoldering BBQ at 11 o'clock at night, playing cards and supping Jameson's whiskey (a new and rather dangerous discovery for old Shell) to re-charge the batteries.  Okay, so as camping goes we were pretty well looked after (electricity supply, showers AND clean toilets?  Wow!) but cooking outdoors, sleeping with nothing more than a sheet of waterproof fabric between you and the elements and being without all those creature comforts we don't need but depend on is certainly good for the soul.  Even if not the back...

It isn't just going camping that has helped me detox my mind - if not my body (one thing at a time people!).  I've been reading a book by Gabbi Bernstein, Yoga and Meditation buff whose 108 Miracles Now breaks down developing your spiritual side - and maintaining your well-being - into easy to follow steps.  Whilst some of it isn't for me, it is full of handy hints to improve your relationship with the world and look at life with a more positive slant, something I admit I sometimes find tricky.  

On Thursday, I found myself seeing positives in what could have been a rather crushing situation.  After several rejection letters confused by some very positive feedback from publishers and competition judges, I decided to ask a professional to look at my first novel, Faith, Hope and Chocolate.  Deep down I knew it wasn't my best writing by any means but had grown attached to my characters - and still loved the concept.  Claire's feedback confirmed this - and her comments helped me see where it wasn't working and think about how I could develop the story line.  We concluded that the best course of action would be to start again - and, this time, write with a bit more of a purpose and a plan, something I admit not really doing the first time round.  So, watch this space people - just don't hold your breath, as I have novel number two to edit first, plus a couple of other ideas floating about...

Now, with all that in mind, I'm going to run myself a nice bath, read some more "Miracles" and write in my journal - the detox isn't complete yet!

Good evening... or should I say good night?  It's coming up to 11 pm on Sunday and I guess we should really be heading off to bed in preparation for another week at work.  But, after an extended siesta this afternoon (oops!) I'm not feeling that sleepy.  Ah well...
I don't often sleep in the day, but after a rather hectic week topped off with a Hen Do yesterday, today it was more than needed.  Besides, I've just started to read a book on mindfulness and positivity which encourages sleeping well to keep the mind clear.  I admit I am on a bit of a mission to "develop" my spiritual side and I see these factors as key to a happy existence.  I agree, it isn't always easy, but I'm working on it...
Take this week for example.  On Wednesday I went to a talk at London Zoo, "The Jungles of the Mind," after learning that feminist, psychotherapist and mild obsession of mine Susie Orbach was the guest speaker.  I thoroughly enjoyed the talk - and getting up close and personal to some amazing animals - but admit leaving feeling a bit flat.  You see, at the end of the talk, I approached Susie and asked her to sign her my copy of "Fat Is a Feminist Issue".  As she did so I told her how much I admired her work and how it inspired me.  She nodded politely and asked me about myself.  But, as I spoke, I couldn't help but notice her eyes glaze over as I described my day job.  Walking home, I felt disappointed in myself for failing to leave nothing more that a lackluster impression on someone I so admire.  When I told my good friend Laura about the encounter, she pointed out that Susie probably met a million people like me every year, but, in my mind, it was just confirmation of what I most fear - that my existence on this planet means nothing.

Since then, however, I have talked to, met and thought of friends who have inspired me to look at the bigger picture.  Two of these women, one of whom a have worked closely with for over two years and another who I have just met, told me that they had grown up with a parent who was addicted to alcohol.  I was gobsmacked - both these beautiful, savvy women have amazing careers that I am somewhat enviable of, one of whom has developed hers as a single mum.  As they spoke they reminded me of other friends who, despite family illness, bereavement and the day to day knocks of work and relationships, never fail to amaze me, raising money for the charity that supports their sick father rather than wallowing in the pain of his disease, heading home to support their dad when their mum is in hospital and going the extra mile to ensure their sister is getting the spiritual support they need when they lose their mother.
Not only do these people inspire me, but they remind me that, even though my one bed flat is not quite as impressive as the converted barn of the aforementioned hen, and that I have yet to make an impression on the literary or art world, I am pretty darn blessed.  Something I need to remember next time I get my knickers in a twist over my fluctuating weight and unpublished novel.
So, if our paths cross in the near future and I begin to bemoan my fate, please do us both a favour and remind me of this blog.  My positivity is a work in progress, and I might need a bit of help to get there.  Bear with me...