You cannot be serious...

Dharlings!  Lovvies!  How wonderful to see you again!  Aren't I fabulous?!  Mwah, MWAH!!

...it doesn't work, does it?  Okay, maybe if I was a published author with a deal at the White Cube, I could get away with being up my own arse.  But, even if I was on the Bestseller's List and able to sell my unmade bed for millions (Ah!  Just had a great idea for that pile of washing up...), I'd like to think that I wouldn't become one of those pretentious eejits.

Yep, you guessed it, something is on my mind.  

On Thursday, I went to the Open Studio event at Wimbledon Art Studios.  My mate Laura shares a studio there, and I could think of no better way to spend my evening other than quaffing wine, gossiping with my mate and enjoying some art.  I admit, I thoroughly enjoyed my chinwag with Laura and her studio buddy Bea and made the most of the free bar (yes, I have no shame), but, whilst some of the art was pretty impressive, I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed, confused even.  Why?  Well, because whilst some of the artists were incredibly welcoming and chatty (and a handful forgivably shy), others almost seemed to resent giving members of the public access to their work.  Several times I wandered into a studio to be greeted by a group talking loudly as they sipped their sauvignon.  Fine, I guess.  I can even forgive those who didn't say hello.  But those who refused to acknowledge my presence or, worse still, gave me a contemptuous look before returning their valuable attention to their cronies - sorry, but I have no time for them.  Especially those who huddle by their door so you can't even get bloody in...

I just can't understand artists who take themselves so seriously.  It spreads into the other arts, too.  Many a time I have seen a band play live who I loved, only to be left cold by their refusal to interact with the crowd - yet been delighted by others who openly show their respect and gratitude to their audience.  Yesterday I went to the theatre to see The Play that Goes Wrong and, whilst it isn't my usual cup of tea, it was refreshing to see thesps having a bit of fun and basically taking the mick out of themselves.

So guys, do me a favour; never take yourself too seriously, no matter how successful you are.  And, if I ever win the Booker or even the Turner Prize, please tell me if I become a pompous dick.  Because it really isn't very becoming...

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